Q: I have noticed in all personal sites on the internet that a majority of men are married or are seeking partners for receiving anal.These types are "real men", mostly blue collar workers and straight as you can get. My question is why are so many men turning to male sex while married and why do they prefer the subordinate role in anal sex?

As the inimitable Dan Savage says: "Straight guys like dick." Really. A lot of them do. Look at most mainstream porn, for instance: The woman is most often just an accessory to the cock. I'd bet if you counted the scenes of actual sex in most porno movies, you'd find that 90+% of them had some guy's dick as the centerpiece of the shot.

Also consider the amount of time guys spend playing with their own dicks … and the number of guys who have "secret" circle jerk or blowjob stories from childhood (If you doubt the frequency of homosexual activity among teens and young boys, check out Shere Hite's Hite Report on Male Sexuality some time!)

So, what does all that have to do with married men trying to find anal sex through online personal ads? Let's take this in two parts, since it was kind of a two part question:

Why men would want to take the subordinate position in anal sex:

• One big consideration is the prostate gland. Women don't have one, but men do, and it feels really good to have your prostate stimulated. In fact, it feels so good that many men can orgasm through anal penetration alone, without even touching their penises (not to say a reach around wouldn't feel good too, I'm sure).
• Prostitutes report that men who occupy positions of power in daily life often enjoy submission fantasies in the bedroom. If a man is the dominant partner in his marriage and/or work life, it might really turn him on to have someone else "put him in his place" sexually.
• If a man enjoys having anal sex with his wife, he might be curious as to how it feels to be on the receiving end.
• All in all, there's also the same reason a woman would allow a man to have anal sex with her: Receiving anal sex feels good, whether or not you have a prostate gland. There are a lot of nerve endings around the human anus, and if you're careful not to push things too quickly right at the beginning, it can feel really really fantastic to have all those nerve endings stimulated.

Why a married man would look outside his marriage to get anal sex:

• A lot of men still have the whole "virgin/whore" issue with how they see woman. Some of these men might be horrified by the idea of "defiling" their virginal wives by asking them to do something as perverse as wearing a strap-on. (Sad, but true.)
• There are closed-minded, homophobic, sexually repressed women in this world too, and some of these men might be married to them. Instead of risking their wives' ridicule, or having her think, "Oh my god, my husband is gay," finding another man for a few secret liasons might seem much much easier. (Sad, but true.)
• Some of these men might be married to perfectly understanding, adventurous women who'd be happy to butt-fuck their hubbies, but the men themselves might be so freaked out by the idea of anal sex that they're afraid to say anything to a woman they actually care about, and would rather act out their "perverse" fantasies with some anonymous man they don't have to respect or talk to in the morning. (Sad, but true.)
• Some of these men might be bisexual or actually gay … so even if their wives did wear a strap-on, it wouldn't be the same as having a big, manly pair of hands grabbing their hips while they got pumped. (Even sadder … for the wife and the husband.)

And of course, some of these men might just be in an adventurous, open relationship, where both partners are free to pursue whatever tickles their fancy, and there's no sneaking infidelity going on in the first place. All in all, the twists and turns of human sexual proclivities know no bounds … I'm sure at least one of the guys you're talking about has a story you or I could never even imagine.

Ain't it great?

Q: A man's balls are very sensative to any pushing or pulling so what's the purpose of ball dividers, stretchers etc.?

First things first (for those readers not "in the know" about such toys): Ball stretchers are devices designed to fasten around the scrotum, above the testicles, forcing the testicles further away from the body. They range from relatively simple stretchy dividers to elaborate contraptions with weights hanging off them, padlocks, spikes and all sorts of other attachments and torments. Ball dividers are similar devices with a strap or other "divider" at the bottom end, which fastens between the testicles and separates them.

Now, "why in the hell would anyone want to do that to their poor balls" is probably the most common reaction upon a man's first sighting of either device. And it's a valid question, for the reasons you mention. Why would you want to, seemingly painfully, distort such a sensitive part of your body?

For starters, different people have different tolerance levels for physical sensation. One man might be reduced to fits of giggles by his partner attempting to stroke his testicles during oral sex … another man buys ball stretchers with lead weights hanging off them.

For people with a high tolerance for sensation, a "mild" ball stretcher likely won't even register as painful. During arousal, most folks become somewhat less sensitive to pain. If you've ever enjoyed having a partner dig their nails into your back during sex, and only the next day realized they'd left painful welts behind, you know exactly what I mean. At the time, it probably felt great!

The same effect, to a more extreme degree, is part of what lies behind all S/M play. During sexual arousal, many sensations that might otherwise register as pain just feel "really intense" (and often very good) instead. And some people actually do enjoy erotically inflicted pain as well.

For people who enjoy that sort of thing, ball stretchers and other such devices exist to cause extreme sensation in an already sensitive part of the body.