Q: My partner and I have what you would call an open relationship, he sees and sleeps with others, while I am faithful to him. I wonder why I am ok with that scenario with him where as with others I was not.

Two thoughts immediately come to mind for me:

1. You're not that attached. If you're not that serious about the relationship, you might naturally not feel worried about what or who else he's doing. Not everyone is 'wired' to want to see more than one person though, so even if you weren't that serious, you might still feel more comfortable being monogamous yourself.
2. The relationship is really solid. Kind of the exact opposite of theory #1, if you feel really secure in the emotional stability of the relationship, you may not worry about who else he sees, because you're completely confident that he's coming home to you when he's done.

   No matter what the reason though, as long as the two of you can communicate openly about your feelings regarding the open arrangement, and you're both happy with the situation as it is, there's no reason to worry!

Is it wrong to orgasm inside my wife first before giving her cunnilingus. I would like to ask her to let me?

Is it wrong? Of course not! I'd hazard to guess that you don't think it's wrong for your wife to swallow when she gives you a blow job, right? So, if it's OK for her to get your semen in her mouth, why would it be wrong for you to get your own cum in your mouth?

The only possible problem here is if your wife isn't comfortable with the idea. Since I don't know her, I really can't say much to that question. Were I in your position, I'd probably just go ahead and go down on her after sex sometime, but the fact that you'd feel like you needed to ask does suggest that at least one of you is/might be uncomfortable about the idea, in which case it's always best to ask. (And I wish you the best of luck getting the answer you want!)

can anyone tell me where I could get a waterproof box to stand on as we now have a fabulous wet room but can't do anything really because my husbands 6ft3 and I'm only 5ft3 I don't think he could lift me and we're really puzzeled as where to get something?

Shower stools are available in a wide variety of styles and sizes, some with adjustable height, some not. Most of them are specifically designed to help physically impaired people safely use their showers, so they're designed to support (in most cases) 250-300lbs. Most have non-slip rubber feet, or suction cup feet, and wide, flat seats.

I'm betting one of those would work perfectly for you! And congrats on the wet room … all I have is a teeny stall shower right now. I'm totally jealous!

threesomes…how? it just doesn't make sense to me.

Goodness, I wish you'd been more specific! So, I'll assume you're asking how a threesome (or ménage à trois) works physically. Considering you can have three women, three men, two men and a woman or two women and a man, the positions possible in all four combinations are … well, very very numerous.

I'll just try to do a basic, vague rundown of different ways a threesome could work … let's assume that any same sex participants are either bi or gay, and that strap-ons and other toys are acceptable to everyone involved …

• The participants can take turns having one-on-one sex, while the third person watches
• If a woman is involved the other two participants can penetrate her simultaneously vaginally and anally (double penetration, or DP, is hugely popular in porn movies)
• Person A can penetrate person B anally or vaginally, while person B performs oral sex on person C.
• Person A can perform oral sex on person B, while person B performs oral sex on person C, and person C can perform oral sex on person A … is your head spinning yet?
• All three people can give each other hand jobs.
• Person A can penetrate person B while person B penetrates person C
• Two people can simultaneously perform oral sex on the third person, while giving each other a hand job …

… and the list goes on. Really, the possibilities are probably only limited by your imagination and everyone's level of open-mindedness. If you're curious, and you're in a relationship, you could mention the idea to your partner and see if s/he might be interested in trying a threesome with you. If you're single, and interested, personal ads (both in newspapers and online) often feature ads from couples seeking a third partner.

Unfortunately, Adam & Eve discontinued Nina Hartleys "how to" videos about threesomes, which would be more entertaining for someone who's just curious, but not really intent on trying a ménage à troi. But if you're actually interested in trying a three-way, Amazon carries a couple of highly rated books on how to start, manage and enjoy three-partner sexual encounters. Threesomes: How to Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy, which concentrates mostly on two woman/one man threesomes, and The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE. Both books are written by people with experience with menage-a-trois sex and three-way relationships.

Q: I recently confirmed my suspicions about my live-in bf's infidelity after much investigation. When I approached him, he denied it completely. But after a few beers and alot of manipulation on my part he finally confessed. Now comes the weird part. Oddly enough I am not mad, mostly because there was no emotional connection between them just physical. but also I have been very turned on by the thought of it. I do love him very much, so why do I feel this way?

Why do you get turned on by the idea of your boyfriend cheating? I have no idea … I could try to analyze the situation, but I'm not a psychologist, so I really wouldn't be doing any good. What I can do is suggest things for you to do about it, and reassure you that it's not as unusual as you might think.

If hearing about it turns you on, maybe you could have an agreement that he can screw around if he tells you about it afterward (and if you're both interested, you could agree to do the same thing yourself).

If the idea of seeing it turns you on, maybe he could bring someone home and let you watch.

Most guys would jump at the chance to have a threesome with their girlfriend and another woman, so if that interests you, suggest it to him.

I have an ex who was really turned on by the idea of me sleeping with other men, and while it didn't work out so well in our case, it might be perfectly OK for you and your boyfriend to play around with this idea, as long as you're both interested and both aroused by it all.

The key to "open" relationships (where one or both partners "screws around" with the other's permission) is to have open communication about it too. He has to be ready to call it off, if it starts to bother you, and vice-versa. If you're both comfortable with the idea, the only major concern is that you both use protection when you're with other people, so you're not bringing home any surprises with your stories.