He wants anal, but his wife says no.

Q: how can i convince my wife for anal???

anal sex for beginners
Well, you don't say whether you've brought the subject up with her before or not, but my number one piece of advice is this: Don't push it! Seriously, if you have mentioned the idea to her, and she wasn't open to it, bringing it up over and over again is just going to kill any chance you may have had in the first place.

Now, there are a whole bunch of reasons someone might be against the idea of having anal sex. They may have heard it hurts (which it can, if you're not careful). They think the idea of anal sex is dirty, and something only "perverts" do. They may have religiously-based beliefs against it. Or, they may just think it's unsanitary and/or gross. They may even have tried anal before, and had a bad experience with it. The problem here is that except for reason #1, the rest are really hard to argue with, because there's really no way to prove any of them wrong.

Now, if you haven't brought up the subject yet, or her reaction wasn't completely negative, here are some things you can try doing to warm her up to the idea:

  • Use your finger while you're going down. (And yes, if you want her to give up the back door, I'd consider it damn near a requirement that you do some favors for her first. ;-) When you're going down on her, and she's getting really excited, you could try gently stroking or tickling her anus with a wet finger, and see how she reacts.
  • Move up slowly. If she seems to like external stimulation, the next time you could try applying some gentle pressure, and eventually getting a little lube on your finger and inserting it a little way inside. If using your finger goes well, you could buy a small butt plug, or beginner anal toy, and using that with her. Once she gets used to the idea, suggesting anal intercourse will be easier …
  • Don't push your luck. The really key thing to remember is that she may only ever be willing to go as far as your finger, or a toy … or she may never be comfortable with anal stimulation at all. So, don't push it. The last thing you want to do is push her to the point where she starts resenting it. If you already have a good sex life, you wouldn't want to ruin it trying to "score" something you're never going to get in the first place.

One Response to “He wants anal, but his wife says no.”

  1. Adam & Eve, Sex Toys says:

    Great tips for beginning to explore anal sex with a partner, especially the 'favors'

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