Holy instantaneous orgasm, Batman!

The Hitachi Magic Wand lives up to it's reputation. If the Rabbit Habit is a well-meaning guy who isn't quite getting it right, but manages to get the job done anyway, the Hitachi is an anonymous screamingly-orgasmic quickie in a public restroom.

LOOKS: The Magic Wand looks like something out of a medical supply catalog. There's nothing even vaguely beautiful or sexy about this toy. It was designed as a muscle massager, and it shows. You could leave it lying around the house, and nobody (who didn't already own one themselves) would be any the wiser as to its x-rated applications.

CONSTRUCTION: The massaging head is a slightly flattened ball of vinyl (?) covered padding, connected by a short neck to a gigantic white plastic handle, with an electrical cord hanging off the other end. It seems built sturdily enough that you could bludgeon someone with it in the afternoon, and still use it to "massage" yourself to sleep later that night.

FEATURES: A two speed on-off switch. The speeds are marked as "low" and "high", but I think that's code for "almost unbearably strong" and "for use on major muscle groups only". No fancy bells and whistles here; Hitachi designed this beast to do one thing, and one thing only: relax sore muscles. The fact that it's also the most notoriously reliable orgasm generator known to womankind is a bonus feature.

TECHNIQUE: Yes, the vibrations are as intense as everyone says, and that is one of the complaints many people have about the Magic Wand: The vibrations are actually too much to bear for some. In fact, I find it works better through a blanket, or a pair of jeans, or some other protective barrier, because while the vibrating head is cushioned, it's not quite cushioned enough for direct-skin contact for me. And I'd advise you to take a rest between orgasms, because otherwise (even with extra padding), the relentless vibration WILL make your clit go numb … VERY quickly.

CONCLUSION: I need to get the Gee Whiz attachment for my Magic Wand. I have a feeling the Hitachi will put to rest forever my complaint that vibes designed for penetration are never quite strong enough to do the job. But even without fancy attachments, you'd better believe this baby is staying permanently plugged in next to my bed. I think my Pocket Rocket is going to get really jealous.

If you're looking for efficiency in an orgasm, you can't go wrong with this toy! Oh, and it's not bad for sore shoulders either… ;-)