Q: eating your own cum

Well, that's not really a question, but I assume you're wondering if it's safe, or if other people do it. The answer is "yes" on both counts. If you want to eat your own semen, go right ahead … if it doesn't hurt your boy/girlfriend, it isn't going to hurt you either!

Q: Should i suck on his testicle a little bit too?

This is one of those "if he likes it" things … most men's testicles are very sensitive. Some men may dislike having their testicles sucked, because the sensation is so intense it's painful for them, but really like having their balls licked and fondled. Others may enjoy ball sucking, but only if you do it gently. And then there are those guys that absolutely love having their balls sucked, no matter how hard you do it.

The only way to find out if a particular guy likes having his testicles sucked, or mouthed, or played with at all (some guys' scrotums are so ticklish, you just have to leave them alone), is to either ask or try it. Of course, asking may not help if he's never had someone do that for him before … so why not just experiment?

If you do decide to just give it a try some time, be really soft and slow at first, and pay close attention to his reaction (especially if you up the intensity). If your man likes it, but only gently, you don't want to spook him by doing your Hoover impersonation right off the bat! Start off just licking his scrotum, then take one testicle into your mouth, and instead of sucking on it, just caress it with your tongue. You could try gently sucking both of his balls into your mouth at once (if you can), and rolling them around a little.

If he enjoys all that, then try actually sucking on them, and take it from there.

Q: How do I give a blow job?

I've actually had this question raised twice since my cunnilingus do's and don'ts post went up, so I've bumped it to the top of the queue …

So, you want to give good blow jobs? I'm going to start sounding like a broken record if I keep saying "pay attention to you partner's reactions" in all of my how-to posts, but that really ought to be at the top of any sex how-to list. And I assume pretty much everyone understands that fellatio involves putting your partner's penis in your mouth … That said, here are a few more specific tips, in no particular order:

No teeth. That point may change if you're with the same guy for a long time, and he trusts you and enjoys more intense stimulation, but for the most part you're just going to scare people if your teeth touch their penis. Practice making an "O" shape with your mouth while keeping your lips pulled in over your teeth.

Don't choke yourself. Sure, people make a lot of noise about deep throating, and it's a great little trick of you can manage to do it comfortably, but don't push yourself until you gag. If you can't comfortably get the man's penis all the way in your mouth, use your hand to squeeze the shaft of the penis while your mouth works on the head … much like I recommended men concentrate on the clitoris when going down, the glans of the penis is the most sensitive part for the man.

Keep things wet. Most lubricants taste like crap, so you don't really want to pump your hand full of lube when you start, but you definitely don't want to chafe any sensitive parts while you're down there. Saliva is your friend here. If you can take his penis all the way to the back of your mouth a few times, your saliva will naturally get a bit thicker, and therefore much more useful as a lubricant. But if you can't manage that without gagging, just work up some excess saliva one way or another, and spread it around with your tongue. And no, he won't mind if you drool on him a little here … ;-)

Spit or swallow, but make up your mind. While most men would certainly prefer you swallow, he's not going to be crushed if you spit. If you're going to spit, have a tissue handy before you start. If you're going to swallow, have a drink ready if the taste bothers you. Whichever you choose, just don't make a lot of faces or icky noises … nobody wants their partner acting like oral sex is some kind of disgusting "duty" they're barely tolerating. (Personally, I'd say swallowing is easier … no mess, no bother. Even if you think it tastes nasty, do you really want to have to swish it around in your mouth long enough to spit it all back out?)

You don't have to finish. If you're terribly worried about the spit or swallow thing, or if your jaw feels like it's about to crack, or you're getting a neck ache, or just really not enjoying yourself, stop. But stop nicely. Most guys are pretty understanding if you say your neck is getting sore … and I've found that climbing back up the guy's body and getting down to a little girl-on-top business usually works just fine. ;-)

Use your hands. Besides just squeezing the base of his penis, you can use your hand to fondle his testicles (be gentle though! they're quite sensitive!). Another good one: wrap your hand around his shaft, and keep your hand against your mouth as you slide your mouth all the way off his penis, squeezing your hand a little at the very top, then slide your mouth back down (lips against your hand) as far as you can (… and do make sure everything is nice and slick when you do it). Many guys seem to need a certain level of 'fast and hard' towards the end to orgasm, and that technique is a relatively easy way to go fast without worrying about gagging yourself or dislocating your jaw.

Pace yourself. You don't have to go all-out from the start. He's not going to mind if you familiarize yourself with the territory before getting serious about the grand finale. Play around a little. Listen to the noises he's making, and if he suggests something he'd like you to do, give it a try! When he's acting really excited, or actually says he's getting close to orgasm, then you can start on the 'fast and hard' (or whatever it is that really seems to get him going).

You have a tongue, so use it. You don't have to do a Deep Throat impersonation the whole time, or pretend you're a Hoover vacuum. See if you can swirl your tongue in a circle around the head of his penis. Flicker your tongue against the skin just below the underside of the head. Lick up and down the entire shaft a few times. Find out what he really likes, and do it a while longer. Playing with your tongue is a great way to take a break from the head-bobbing action if your neck is getting a little tired.

Let him watch. You might be worried about how you'll look while you're performing fellatio, but the man on the receiving end is not going to be critiquing your hairdo, believe me. Leave a light on (even just a candle, if you're feeling shy), and kneel between his legs so he can look down at you while you're doing it. Look up at him once in a while too, and make a little noise to show you like what you're doing.

Have fun with it. No matter what your level of skill, the guy will enjoy it more if you're enjoying yourself too. Go ahead and use some whipped cream or chocolate syrup if it sounds like fun, go down on him in the shower, or try the 69 position some time. Giving head isn't all about being a hard core blow job queen … any kind of sex is best when everyone's having fun!

Q: How do I give a woman oral sex? What do they like?

There's never a truly universal answer to a question like that … as soon as I say "and they definitely DON'T like THIS", someone will pop up and beg to differ. However, there are a few general hints that will at least get you started on the right track. Then if you meet a woman who really wants you to bite her or something, feel free to get creative. ;-)

Do know your anatomy. The clitoris is what you're going for here. 3DVulva.com can show you the way if you're in doubt. However, do also keep in mind that not all women like direct clitoral stimulation. If your partner squirms away a little, or says "ouch" or anything, try a new angle … off to one side, or on the clitoral hood instead of the actual clitoris itself.

Don't act like a kid with an ice cream cone. Some full-contact licking is nice here and there, but the tip of your tongue is your real weapon of choice in this endeavor. Practice this on your own: try to flicker the tip of your tongue up and down rapidly against your fingertip, without losing contact. The longer you can keep going, the better.

Do shave first (unless you have a full beard). Sandpaper is not a woman's friend down there, and having to worry about whether or not you're giving her stubble burn while simultaneously paying attention to what your tongue is doing is just going to stack the cards against you from the start.

Don't use your teeth. Men ask the same thing of women … quid pro quo.

Do use your hands. The g-spot is not a myth. There is an area along the top of the vagina (if the woman is laying on her back), about halfway up the vaginal wall, that is a definite hot button for many women. Using a finger in a "come here" motion in that area can be quite the bonus maneuver for some women … other women find it a bit overwhelming, but might still quite enjoy 'straight' digital penetration.

Don't make faces or unpleasant noises. A lot of women are really concerned about how they smell or taste … and this is definitely the time to remember Mom's advice: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." This is probably the #1 reason some women are uncomfortable getting oral sex. If there is genuinely a problem in this department, during cunnilingus is definitely not the time to talk about it. (On the other hand, making comments about how good the woman smells or tastes is a definite Do!)

Do tease a bit. Start out slow and soft. You don't have to go straight for the clit right at the get-go. Build a little suspense by tickling the whole area with your tongue first. Get everything wet, and get her good and turned on. Then go for the jackpot.

Don't worry if she doesn't have an orgasm from cunnilingus. If you're new at it, or she's a little nervous about it, the big O probably won't happen. While meeting a man who can give you an orgasm orally is a truly wonderful thing, oral sex also a fantastic bit of foreplay (or a very very nice intermission!) even without the grand finale.

Do give her some control. Unless you're playing bondage games, letting your partner move around while you're going down benefits both of you. She knows where it feels best, so let her show you. Pay attention and you'll notice where she moves her legs and how the wiggles her hips, and you'll pick up some hints about her favorite angles and positions.

Don't be afraid to ask. The quickest way to learn what someone likes is to ask them. Hopefully, your female partner is open enough to tell you when she does or doesn't like something, so feel free to ask her if there's anything in particular she'd like you to do … although you can still learn a whole lot just by paying attention to the way she reacts to what you're doing, if one or both of you is too shy to discuss it.

As with anything, all women are different. Some like harder, more direct clitoral stimulation, some like a more gentle approach … some women would be happy if their partner did nothing but cunnilingus all the time, some women prefer it as a foreplay-only activity … some women orgasm easily via oral sex, some women will never come that way. Just experiment, pay attention, and practice, practice, practice!