Orgasms: How does a woman know?

Q: How do women know when dey had an orgasm o when they r about 2 have 1?

Hmmm. See, this is one of those "you just know" kind of things … since you gave a female name, I'm going to assume you're not sure if you've ever had one. I would hazard to say if you're not sure, you very well may not have … but keeping that in mind, orgasms can feel very different depending on how you achieve them.

For instance, if you're masturbating using a vibrator on your clit, the orgasm will feel a lot different than if you're using something like a rabbit vibe which also gives you vaginal stimulation. (Sex toys are a great way to make masturbation both easier and a lot more fun!) And if you have an orgasm from someone performing oral sex on you, it's a lot different than if you have one during vaginal sex (fyi: a lot of women do need clitoral stimulation to orgasm during vaginal sex), and that is different still compared to an orgasm during anal sex.

It's hard to say how each individual woman is going to feel right before she has an orgasm, but there's a pretty much universal sign of when you are having one, or when you just have: Your pelvic muscles will contract repeatedly, without you making it happen. It's the same muscle contraction as a kegel exercise (try squeezing your muscles to make yourself stop peeing … that's exactly the muscles I'm talking about). Your heart rate also increases, and many women's nipples get hard … but since you're usually not taking your pulse or looking at your own nipples when it happens, that's not so helpful when you're trying to figure it out yourself. ;-)

One of the best ways for a woman to learn about her own orgasms is to give herself a lot of them, in a lot of different ways. Not only does your body "learn" to be responsive to a lot of different stimulation, but it can even help you orgasm easier during sex. A couple of good books that can help you learn new, fun, effective ways to masturbate are Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.

Good luck and have fun! :-)

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