Q: How can I tell if my girlfriend is faking it when we have sex?

Well, the short answer is that you can't. A woman who knows how her body responds when she's really having an orgasm should be able to do a good enough job of faking it to fool almost anyone.

Now, if you're really worried about it, the best thing you can do is not become the world's foremost orgasm investigator, hoping your amazing powers of perception prevent any possible deception on the part of your sex partners. For one thing, you'll be so busy trying to "read" her reactions, your performance will probably suffer as a result … making it even MORE likely that she resorts to faked ecstasy. For another, your enjoyment will suffer, because you'll be so paranoid about whether she's enjoying herself, you won't be able to relax and enjoy yourself either.

Some women may have an orgasm during foreplay, but not during intercourse. Some women may have orgasms during intercourse, but only in certain positions. Some women are quieter, some noisy. Some women may have smaller orgasms really easily, but rarely have a really earth-shaking one … some women may have multiple orgasms while they're in bed, some may rarely have one at all. And as if all that isn't confusing enough, even when a woman does have an orgasm, it won't always be the same as the last one.

The best thing you can do is either talk to her openly about it, or (assuming that would be awkward for you, and something you'd really rather not do), just concentrate on learning what she likes in bed, and then make sure you do more of it. Do you notice her reacting differently when you do different things during foreplay, and can you tell which things she likes best?

Pay attention to how she reacts to what you do … not with the intent of figuring out if she's faking it, but with the intent of figuring out what she really likes best. You may never find out whether she fakes orgasms or not, but you'll definitely become a better lover, and the more she enjoys herself the less likely she'd ever need or want to fake it to begin with!

Q: How do women know when dey had an orgasm o when they r about 2 have 1?

Hmmm. See, this is one of those "you just know" kind of things … since you gave a female name, I'm going to assume you're not sure if you've ever had one. I would hazard to say if you're not sure, you very well may not have … but keeping that in mind, orgasms can feel very different depending on how you achieve them.

For instance, if you're masturbating using a vibrator on your clit, the orgasm will feel a lot different than if you're using something like a rabbit vibe which also gives you vaginal stimulation. (Sex toys are a great way to make masturbation both easier and a lot more fun!) And if you have an orgasm from someone performing oral sex on you, it's a lot different than if you have one during vaginal sex (fyi: a lot of women do need clitoral stimulation to orgasm during vaginal sex), and that is different still compared to an orgasm during anal sex.

It's hard to say how each individual woman is going to feel right before she has an orgasm, but there's a pretty much universal sign of when you are having one, or when you just have: Your pelvic muscles will contract repeatedly, without you making it happen. It's the same muscle contraction as a kegel exercise (try squeezing your muscles to make yourself stop peeing … that's exactly the muscles I'm talking about). Your heart rate also increases, and many women's nipples get hard … but since you're usually not taking your pulse or looking at your own nipples when it happens, that's not so helpful when you're trying to figure it out yourself. ;-)

One of the best ways for a woman to learn about her own orgasms is to give herself a lot of them, in a lot of different ways. Not only does your body "learn" to be responsive to a lot of different stimulation, but it can even help you orgasm easier during sex. A couple of good books that can help you learn new, fun, effective ways to masturbate are Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, and Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving.

Good luck and have fun! :-)

Holy instantaneous orgasm, Batman!

The Hitachi Magic Wand lives up to it's reputation. If the Rabbit Habit is a well-meaning guy who isn't quite getting it right, but manages to get the job done anyway, the Hitachi is an anonymous screamingly-orgasmic quickie in a public restroom.

LOOKS: The Magic Wand looks like something out of a medical supply catalog. There's nothing even vaguely beautiful or sexy about this toy. It was designed as a muscle massager, and it shows. You could leave it lying around the house, and nobody (who didn't already own one themselves) would be any the wiser as to its x-rated applications.

CONSTRUCTION: The massaging head is a slightly flattened ball of vinyl (?) covered padding, connected by a short neck to a gigantic white plastic handle, with an electrical cord hanging off the other end. It seems built sturdily enough that you could bludgeon someone with it in the afternoon, and still use it to "massage" yourself to sleep later that night.

FEATURES: A two speed on-off switch. The speeds are marked as "low" and "high", but I think that's code for "almost unbearably strong" and "for use on major muscle groups only". No fancy bells and whistles here; Hitachi designed this beast to do one thing, and one thing only: relax sore muscles. The fact that it's also the most notoriously reliable orgasm generator known to womankind is a bonus feature.

TECHNIQUE: Yes, the vibrations are as intense as everyone says, and that is one of the complaints many people have about the Magic Wand: The vibrations are actually too much to bear for some. In fact, I find it works better through a blanket, or a pair of jeans, or some other protective barrier, because while the vibrating head is cushioned, it's not quite cushioned enough for direct-skin contact for me. And I'd advise you to take a rest between orgasms, because otherwise (even with extra padding), the relentless vibration WILL make your clit go numb … VERY quickly.

CONCLUSION: I need to get the Gee Whiz attachment for my Magic Wand. I have a feeling the Hitachi will put to rest forever my complaint that vibes designed for penetration are never quite strong enough to do the job. But even without fancy attachments, you'd better believe this baby is staying permanently plugged in next to my bed. I think my Pocket Rocket is going to get really jealous.

If you're looking for efficiency in an orgasm, you can't go wrong with this toy! Oh, and it's not bad for sore shoulders either… ;-)

The Sister becomes a Hitachi convert:

Ah that infamous personal massager, it's name being synonymous with vibrations more intense than most toys, I'd been curious. I got the Hitachi Magic Wand and was not let down in the least! Just looking at it reminds you that it's not really intended for masturbation purposes, with a sphereish padded vinyl head (just over 2" tall and a circumference just under 8") and a flexible neck attaching it to a hard plastic handle that's just over 9" long, it looks so innocent… And with a power cord rather than batteries, this has quickly become my favorite toy!

This sucker has two setting, both capable of giving you quick and intense orgasms. The low setting seems to have more of a bass like vibrations while the high setting seems more treble like. If the vibrations prove to much for you, it still works wonders through fabric of your choosing (pants, towel, etc). I love that the head seems to be able to just nestle itself into your nether regions and engulf it in intense vibrations. So if you're looking for intense penetrating vibrations (but don't mind going without penetration), I highly recommend it!

Overall, I give it an 8. It'd probably get a 10 if I had the Gee Whiz attachment, though ;)

The Blonde gives another thumbs up:

Yeah! The Hitachi Magic Wand! For all those out there who have the "Fuck Foreplay" mentality, this is the toy for you. Cum hard, cum now, cum often.

The wand itself is rather large (about a foot long), corded, slightly unwieldly (the boyfriend joked it was a two-hander), and loud. But the simple joy of climaxing again and again with little or no time or effort makes it well worth it.

A note about usage: It was designed to work out muscles, and is a little aggressive for those with sensitive clitoral areas (and who doesn't have a sensitive clitoris?). I found using the wand over a couple layers of cloth works quite well (panties & pajama pants, for example). I've only ever used the Wand on the LOW setting. Low is a suitably aggressive vibration, High terrifies me.

The Magic Wand is a fabulous, fucking beautiful addition to any toy chest.

Is it wrong to orgasm inside my wife first before giving her cunnilingus. I would like to ask her to let me?

Is it wrong? Of course not! I'd hazard to guess that you don't think it's wrong for your wife to swallow when she gives you a blow job, right? So, if it's OK for her to get your semen in her mouth, why would it be wrong for you to get your own cum in your mouth?

The only possible problem here is if your wife isn't comfortable with the idea. Since I don't know her, I really can't say much to that question. Were I in your position, I'd probably just go ahead and go down on her after sex sometime, but the fact that you'd feel like you needed to ask does suggest that at least one of you is/might be uncomfortable about the idea, in which case it's always best to ask. (And I wish you the best of luck getting the answer you want!)