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Q: The only way I have ever orgasmed has been with the use of my favorite toy, an electric toothbrush. It is what I use during intercourse with my boyfriend, and when I am with myself. It seems that my clitoris needs that intense vibrating power to bring me to climax - rubbing, petting, even at fast speeds, just don't do the trick (although I occasionally orgasm in my sleep!)…I am worried that by using an electric toothbrush I am maybe somehow decreasing my clitoris' sensitivity, or somehow damaging it through the intensity of the vibrations (even though they feel so good!)?

It isn't possible to desensitize your clitoris through masturbation … what is possible is to habituate yourself so strongly to a certain type of stimulation that it's almost impossible to achieve orgasm any other way. And that sounds like what you've done.

This isn't really a problem, if you're happy to keep an electric toothbrush on hand at all times. But if you're interested in developing the ability to orgasm without the toothbrush, here's a few things you can try:

• First: Don't masturbate for a week or so. Yeah, it sounds horrible, but the idea is to make yourself a little desperate.
• Second: Buy a different vibrator. If you're used to really intense stimulation, start with something like a Hitachi Magic Wand.
• Third: Use both vibrators at first. Get yourself close with the new toy, and then switch to the toothbrush if you really can't climax with the new vibe. Eventually, the goal is to get to where you can orgasm with a different toy.
• Fourth: Once you can orgasm with either toy, try buying a less intense vibrator, or try something totally different like a shower massager. Or get a small fingertip vibrator (or "massage gloves") for your boyfriend to wear during sex, and use on you. If he's game, you could even try a vibrating cock ring, to help with "hands free" stimulation.
• Fifth: Don't worry too much about it. If you've only been orgasming with one method for years, it will take a while to learn something new. The idea is to un-train yourself from thinking you can only orgasm one way.

Basically, what you've done is really strongly reinforced a single neural pathway associating orgasm and your toothbrush. It will take time to build new pathways, but it certainly can be done, if you feel it's important. The fact that you can orgasm in your sleep means your body knows how without the toothbrush.

You may never get to a point where you can orgasm without mechanical help, but that's not uncommon. The trick is to just train yourself to have more than one option.

Q: Can masturbation really "speed up" a period?

I'm honestly not sure. On the one hand, orgasms do stimulate uterine contractions (and masturbating before or during your period can therefore stimulate cramps), so it seems like it would work great. On the other hand, I've noticed that menstrual flow can decrease greatly (or even stop completely) during sexual arousal, so that might counteract the effect of the cramps/contractions.

All in all, masturbation is fun and certainly isn't going to hurt anything, so I'd say it's worth giving it a try!

Q: I am 49 and don't have a problem getting an erection. How can I ejaculate longer instead of just dribbling when I have an orgasm??

This is one of those things I must admit I simply do not get … unless you're worried about fertility, I'm not sure what the fuss is about ejaculate volume! Personally, I don't mind a bit when a partner only produces a small volume of semen. To the contrary, men who come all over the place are just making a bigger mess.

Ejaculate volume is one of those individual things, to a certain extent. Some guys come like porn stars, and some don't. (And actually, porn directors sometimes have guys "stand in" for money shots, if the star of the scene can't cum buckets!)

All that said, judging from the number of pills out there advertised to increase semen volume, obviously it's a big deal to a lot of people out there. And sadly, there's a pretty limited number of legitimate options for changing one's ejaculate volume. I looked around, tried to avoid all the pill scam sites, and came up with this list:

1. Kegel exercises While these are most often recommended to women worried about vaginal muscle tone, and folks with bladder control issues, Kegel exercises can also be a great thing for men, sexually speaking. Not only can they help you control ejaculation and generally increase muscle tone and strength, but I saw several sources say they helped increase ejaculate volume. How? Not sure … I don't know if better muscle tone helps increase the body's production of seminal fluids, or if it just helps increase the force of ejaculation. Either way, it can't do anything but help.

   To do a Kegel exercise, just "clamp down" your muscles as though you're trying to stop peeing, or trying to hold it when you really have to go. (In fact, trying to stop your flow of urine is a good way to make sure you're doing it right.) Do them whenever you think of it. Alternate between short squeezes, and holding the tension for a while. Heck, try doing Kegel morse code if you want!

2. Vitamin supplements Zinc and amino acid supplements are said to increase seminal fluid volume. Zinc is especially recommended. Pick up some zinc supplements, and check your local health food or fitness store to find an all-around amino supplement.
3. Increased foreplay The longer you fool around before you orgasm, the more time your body spends building up for it. And your partner certainly won't mind the extra attention either!
4. Abstinence If you're mostly worried about how much you come during intercourse, lay off the masturbation for a day or two beforehand. The less often you ejaculate, the more semen production has a chance to "save up" between orgasms. This may be the least fun option, but it certainly helps.

Now, for the bad news. It's natural for a man to produce less seminal fluid as he ages. You're just not going to ejaculate as much at the age of 49 as you did when you were 19. If you've got money to burn, you could talk to a doctor about testosterone or HGH supplementation. HGH injections (the only form of HGH treatment shown to produce significant benefits) cost a few hundred dollars per injection, and testosterone treatment isn't cheap either. In the end, the first four things I recommended are probably a more realistic and practical way to go.

Q: I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago and ever since I find it very hard to ejaculate , no problem with erectile function,and I still enjoy sex but it takes forever before I ejaculate, I have tried everything I can think of, could it be medical?

Well, I've searched all over the place for information about delayed ejaculation and vasectomy side effects, and I'm afraid I really didn't come up with anything. Delayed ejaculation is a fairly common side effect of many anti-depressants, but you didn't mention if you were taking any medication of that type.

One side effect of vasectomy is retrograde ejaculation, where the ejaculate backs up into the bladder instead of coming all the way out the urethra, but I imagine it would be difficult to confuse the two. Another side effect of vasectomy I found mentioned was chronic testicular pain … which is (thankfully!) also not your problem. Other issues that may cause delayed ejaculation are prostate problems, or spinal nerve damage.

If you're able to ejaculate within a normal amount of time during masturbation, but not during intercourse, the problem is likely psychological, and you might get relief through hypnotherapy or other counseling methods. If, on the other hand, your delayed ejaculation problems are universal, no matter what method of sexual stimulation you're using, it's more likely to be a physical problem.

Assuming you're not on anti-depressants, and it is in fact a universal problem, you should probably have a doctor check things out. You may want to get a prostate exam, or testicular ultrasound to look for possible physical causes.

Hope that's been of some help.

Q: Should i suck on his testicle a little bit too?

This is one of those "if he likes it" things … most men's testicles are very sensitive. Some men may dislike having their testicles sucked, because the sensation is so intense it's painful for them, but really like having their balls licked and fondled. Others may enjoy ball sucking, but only if you do it gently. And then there are those guys that absolutely love having their balls sucked, no matter how hard you do it.

The only way to find out if a particular guy likes having his testicles sucked, or mouthed, or played with at all (some guys' scrotums are so ticklish, you just have to leave them alone), is to either ask or try it. Of course, asking may not help if he's never had someone do that for him before … so why not just experiment?

If you do decide to just give it a try some time, be really soft and slow at first, and pay close attention to his reaction (especially if you up the intensity). If your man likes it, but only gently, you don't want to spook him by doing your Hoover impersonation right off the bat! Start off just licking his scrotum, then take one testicle into your mouth, and instead of sucking on it, just caress it with your tongue. You could try gently sucking both of his balls into your mouth at once (if you can), and rolling them around a little.

If he enjoys all that, then try actually sucking on them, and take it from there.

Q: I cant prodice sperm whats wrong with me?

First off, you don't mention how old you are. There may not be anything wrong with you at all. Boys start producing sperm at around age 12, but don't reach full fertility until their mid-teens. And of course, some individuals start puberty later than others. So, if you're not starting puberty yet, there's nothing to worry about. You should start producing sperm during your first year of puberty, and reach full fertility 2-3 years later. If you reach your mid-teens and still aren't producing sperm, then it might be a sign of some developmental problem, and you'll want to check with a doctor.

Now, if you're an adult, the next question is whether or not you ever did start producing sperm. If you have in the past, and suddenly can't now, it may be due to some injury or illness … and you should definitely see a doctor about it. If you're an adult and never have produced sperm, it could be due to a genetic problem or early childhood injury. If you're worried about it, go to a doctor and try to find out what's wrong. But if it's been a lifelong problem, it may very well be permanent.

Q: I looked on an adult toy web site and I don't understand the purpose of a butt plug. Why would someone want to plug their butt?

Well, first off, for the most part people who use butt plugs aren't actually trying to plug their butts. (Unless, of course, there's some kind of kinky Dom-sub bowel control game going on … but let's forget about that idea for now, and get down to basics.)

There are a hell of a lot of nerve endings in and around the human anus, which can feel really good when rubbed on. For men, there's the added bonus of the prostate gland located along the forward wall of the rectum, right where it can be stimulated by anal penetration. For those who can let go of society's taboos surrounding their posterior orifice, putting things in one's butt can be very pleasurable. And that brings us to butt plugs.

Dildos are fine and dandy for anal stimulation, unless you want to take your hands off the toy and do something else for a while, such as receiving or giving oral sex, having vaginal sex, or what have you. Dildos tend to slip out, sometimes quite suddenly, when the anal sphincter contracts (as it does when you have an orgasm)*. Even worse, dildos without flared bases can slip all the way in to the rectum, sometimes requiring medical assistance for removal. (If you don't want to use a butt plug, always buy dildos with flared bases, often advertised as "harness compatible", for anal play. Or use specialty anal toys with strings or handles for easy removal.)

Butt plugs are shaped with a flared base, narrow neck, and large "head", so they can't slip all the way into the rectum, and can also be held in place by the sphincter muscle to prevent sudden ejection. They allow users to enjoy "hands free" anal stimulation while they're enjoying other sexual (or non-sexual) activities.

*Bad Idea: Using a dildo anally while having missionary position vaginal sex. Butt plugs, on the other hand, will not eject suddenly, and strike your male partner with great force in the scrotum when you have an orgasm.

Q: Can I breastfeed with pierced nipples?

Well, maybe and maybe not. Multiple milk ducts pass through each of your nipples, and some of them are bound to be damaged when you poke a hole through there … how many and how badly depends on a number of factors: how many milk ducts you have to begin with; how large your nipples are (the larger, the more room you have to work with); what gauge your initial piercing was (the larger, the more potential damage); and finally, how much scar tissue formed while your piercing was healing. It's hard to give a definite answer on this one.

However, nipple piercings are generally done through the areola just behind the actual nipple (or at least they should be), which helps matters greatly. The milk ducts spread out quickly behind the nipple (see diagram at left, caption below), running to mammary glands through out the breast, so there's quite a bit of leeway for a piercing to run through without damaging many of them. In most cases, having a piercing will not stop you from breastfeeding, and some women even report better milk flow after having their nipples pierced.

However, it's generally recommended that nursing mothers remove their piercings while nursing, to reduce the possibility of the jewelry damaging the baby's palate or gums (or possibly coming loose in the baby's mouth). Removing your jewelry the whole time you breastfeed will most likely mean your nipples will need to be re-pierced after weaning, but removing it before every feeding, and reinserting it afterward can cause extra irritation (during a time your nipples will likely be plenty irritated to begin with) … so even if the piercings cause no physical impediment to nursing, they sure can cause a hassle.

The bottom line is that you really won't know how much, if any, trouble your nipple piercings will cause, until you actually begin breastfeeding. But many pierced women have managed to breastfeed before you, so it's almost always do-able.

[Diagram: 1.Nipple 2.Areola 3.Milk Ducts 4.Milk Glands 5.Fatty Tissue]

Q: I just can't seem to get the girl-on-top position right…how would you go about doing it and not getting tired out?

I must admit, "female superior" has never been one of my favorite positions … but every so often, it has been really great. And there are some definite differences between "meh" and "mindblowing," technique-wise. Assuming you're starting from a kneeling position, here are a few tips for making things a little easier for yourself:

Have him sit up. If he's sitting up against the wall, or a pile of pillows, you can lean on him. Wrap your arms around his shoulders, so you can use your upper body strength to keep your balance and lift yourself up.

Rock back and forth. You don't have to bounce up and down the whole time … try sliding your hips back and forth, or side to side, or whichever direction you like, while letting most of your weight rest on his hips. It'll give your knees and thigh muscles a break.

Rest on your hands. Bend forward and put the palms of your hands on his chest, or on either side of his body, and hold yourself up that way for a while. (Or lean back and rest your hands on his legs …) This works really well in conjunction with the "sliding your hips back and forth" maneuver.

Hold hands. Grab hold of his hands, palm to palm, and hold them up in front of you … then lean on them a little, or pull against them to make lifting yourself up a little easier. So long as he doesn't go spaghetti-arms on you, this can be surprisingly helpful.

Get him to do some of the work! Really now, when he's on top, you don't just lay there like a blow-up doll, do you? I'm rather surprised how many men do just lay there like lumps while the woman's on top. Try putting his hands on your hips, and see if he's not suddenly inspired to help out a little more. Once he gets his hips moving a little, you can sync yourself to his movements, and use him like a springboard. ;-) (Works even better if he gets a little lifting action going with his hands.)

Q: About how much volume of fluid does the average guy put out during orgasm?

The general consensus when I looked this one up was 2-6 milliliters of semen per ejaculation. You'll tend to ejaculate a larger volume if you haven't had an orgasm in a while, and tend to produce a smaller amount if you've just had an orgasm recently.

According to the World Health Organization, a 'normal' sperm count has (at minimum):

• a concentration of spermatozoa of 20 million per ml.
• 2ml. total volume of semen
• 40 million spermatozoa in the ejaculate
• 75% live sperm
• 30% normal spermatozoa (in shape and form)
• 25% of the sperm swimming forward quickly
• 50% of the spermatozoa swimming forward, at any speed