Cheating: Why it turns the "victim" on?

Q: I recently confirmed my suspicions about my live-in bf's infidelity after much investigation. When I approached him, he denied it completely. But after a few beers and alot of manipulation on my part he finally confessed. Now comes the weird part. Oddly enough I am not mad, mostly because there was no emotional connection between them just physical. but also I have been very turned on by the thought of it. I do love him very much, so why do I feel this way?

cheating boyfriend
Why do you get turned on by the idea of your boyfriend cheating? I have no idea … I could try to analyze the situation, but I'm not a psychologist, so I really wouldn't be doing any good. What I can do is suggest things for you to do about it, and reassure you that it's not as unusual as you might think.

If hearing about it turns you on, maybe you could have an agreement that he can screw around if he tells you about it afterward (and if you're both interested, you could agree to do the same thing yourself).

If the idea of seeing it turns you on, maybe he could bring someone home and let you watch.

Most guys would jump at the chance to have a threesome with their girlfriend and another woman, so if that interests you, suggest it to him.

I have an ex who was really turned on by the idea of me sleeping with other men, and while it didn't work out so well in our case, it might be perfectly OK for you and your boyfriend to play around with this idea, as long as you're both interested and both aroused by it all.

The key to "open" relationships (where one or both partners "screws around" with the other's permission) is to have open communication about it too. He has to be ready to call it off, if it starts to bother you, and vice-versa. If you're both comfortable with the idea, the only major concern is that you both use protection when you're with other people, so you're not bringing home any surprises with your stories.

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