Archive for the 'Biology' category

Premature Ejaculation: Ways for him to last longer

premature ejaculationQ: As soon as my husband enters me he cums in 2-3 strokes, and our sex finishes in a few seconds. Sometimes he cums without even entering me. So I'm not able to enjoy my sex life. Please suggest any medicine or treatment for my husband, so that we can enjoy our sex life.

Premature ejaculation is a surprisingly common problem. Although most men only experience PE once in a while, some unlucky guys (and it sounds like your husband is unfortunately one of them) have a chronic, ongoing problem with PE.

There are a few commonly recommended work-arounds, and the hope with all of them is that the man will get used to not ejaculating so quickly, and be able to have normal sex without worry eventually. If he's had this problem for a long time, there's a good chance it will take a while to fix it (and if he's had this problem his whole life, there's a good chance he'd benefit from professional help).

First, I'll list some methods people use to try and delay ejaculation:

  • The "Squeeze" Method: When your husband feels like he's really close to ejaculating, he tells you, and you quickly squeeze the end of his penis like so: Put your thumb on the bottom of the penis, just beneath the head, and wrap your other fingers around behind the top of the head. Squeeze your thumb against your other fingers, and hold it for a few seconds until your husband says he's not about to come any more. Then resume intercourse until he's about to orgasm again, and repeat the squeeze as necessary until you're both ready for him to cum.
  • The Interruption Method: When your husband feels he's really close to ejaculating, he stops whatever he's doing and just sits still for a few seconds until he calms down a little. If, as you say, he sometimes orgasms before he even penetrates you, you may need to try something more serious (like the Squeeze) before the Interruption method will work.
  • Heavy Condoms: An "extra strength" condom features thicker latex than normal condoms, which helps reduce sensation for the man. (Durex and Lifestyles both offer extra strength styles) If that isn't enough to slow him down, you can also try …
  • Desensitizing Cream: Desensitizing creams are applied to the head of the penis shortly before sex, and then wiped off when the desired level of numbness is reached. By reducing the sensation felt in the most sensitive part of the man's penis, he can often delay ejaculation considerably. However, putting on too much of these gels or creams can either cause the man to lose his erection, or cause numbness in the woman. A good way to avoid that risk is to use Durex Performax condoms or Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms, which feature a special inner lubricant that help numb the penis slightly, without affecting the woman.
  • Kegel Exercises: As I described in my post to the man who wanted to ejaculate longer, kegel exercises can also help premature ejaculators, by strengthening some of the muscles that control ejaculation, as well as giving the man more control over them. To do a kegel, you squeeze your pelvic muscles like you are trying to stop peeing. Since cum also exits through the urethra, being able to "close" your urethra at will allows a man to stop ejaculation also.

Next, I'll list some techniques that will help you enjoy sex with your husband even when he does suffer premature ejaculation. The really great thing about these tips is that they can also help solve the real problem, because PE is often related to anxiety about being able to perform sexually. If you can both learn to enjoy sex together without even worrying about when he orgasms, it can relieve his possible anxiety enough that it's not a problem in the first place!

  • Use toys on yourself: If you can use a little vibrator on yourself, and have an orgasm during foreplay or very quickly after penetration, when your husband penetrates you, even if he comes almost immediately, you've already had an orgasm too.
  • Try a cock ring: Cock rings fit snugly around the base of the penis and scrotum. They work by restricting the exiting blood flow of the penis, so a man can get an erection, but it's very hard to lose it. If your husband were able to maintain his erection after he ejaculates, then you could continue having sex long enough for you to have an orgasm also. Then, when you're both satisfied, he takes the cock ring off, and the erection goes away. (Be careful to get a cock ring that stretches, or one that adjusts with snaps, or has another adjustment method to tighten and remove it. Using a cock ring that's too small, and doesn't stretch enough to remove, can mean a trip to the hospital!)
  • Don't always "have sex": If your husband can bring you to orgasm with oral sex, or toys, or you can use a vibrator during foreplay, you can both have orgasms without even trying to have him penetrate you. You could give each other oral sex, or he could use a toy on you while you give him a blow job, or he could masturbate himself while he watches you use a toy. The idea here is that you both have fun together, and you both get off, and he learns that orgasms and penetration are not always connected.
  • Masturbate him first: If he has one orgasm, and then you fool around together until he can get a second erection, you can have regular sex the second time he gets up. Since he's already come once, he probably won't orgasm as quickly the second time, and since you've gotten a lot of extra foreplay, you'll be turned on enough that you should be able to come more quickly than usually. Hopefully, your orgasms meet somewhere in the middle. If he comes quickly the second time, you can always keep fooling around and see if the third time really is a charm!

The other common way of approaching premature ejaculation is through therapy. Finding a couples counselor who has experience dealing with premature ejaculation may help both of you. They'll be able to work with you to create exercises to do together to help your husband relax and last longer. The downside of professional therapy is that it's a lot more expensive than the other options here … so you might want to try some of them first, and consider counseling if nothing seems to be helping.

Vaginal Discharge: Everyone is different

Q: I have always wanted to ask someone about this…It seems to me that my vagina secretes a LOT of discharge. And what I mean by a lot is that usually by the end of the day the crotch area of my underwear is covered in dried discharge (I have no STD's or infections; the discharge itself is clearish-white and not stinky). This is a source of major discomfort for me because I constantly fear someone somehow seeing my underwear and being grossed out and thinking I am diseased or unhygienic (I wash myself every morning down there). Sometimes there is more than usual, and I feel WET or I feel it squirt out and it makes me so nervous and annoyed! Does amounts of secretion have anything to do with vaginal size? I am pretty sure that my inner labia are larger than normal. Just a note in case thats where the answer lies.

wet panties
This is one of those things that falls under "everyone is different." It does sound like you produce more vaginal lubrication than average, and I can totally understand why that would be annoying (although you can be happy that you save money by not needing buy lube!). But so long as it doesn't have anything to do with an STD, it's nothing to actually worry about.

However, it doesn't have anything to do with vaginal size. In fact, the size of your labia has nothing to do with the size of the interior of your vagina. So, no need to worry about that.

I don't think there's anything you can do to permanently solve the issue, but if it's really causing you anxiety, there are a few of things you could do to help. One is wearing wear a thin pantyliner, if you're worried about your underwear getting soaked.

Another option, for occasional use only, is using a simple douche before you leave the house. Nothing fancy or perfumed, just a basic vinegar and water solution (look for something with a low pH, since the natural vaginal pH is around 4). It will help rinse out the discharge that's already accumulated inside, and delay the build up of discharge on your panties. However, it's not recommended to douche frequently, because it will disrupt your body's normal friendly bacteria, and can make you more susceptible to vaginal infections. Douching would be something to do right before a date, or if you have an important business meeting, or some other infrequent situation where your vaginal secretions cause you extra anxiety.

One last thing to consider is whether or not you wear panties while you're sleeping. If you do, stop. It's important for your genitals to get some "breathing time" every day, and this might help decrease the problem a little. (That's also a good reason to always wear cotton panties, or at least wear underwear with a cotton panel in the crotch. Synthetic materials don't breathe.)

Sorry I don't have a magic solution for you, but hopefully some of those suggestions will help.

Menstruation and Masturbation: speed things up?

Q: Can masturbation really "speed up" a period?

I'm honestly not sure. On the one hand, orgasms do stimulate uterine contractions (and masturbating before or during your period can therefore stimulate cramps), so it seems like it would work great. On the other hand, I've noticed that menstrual flow can decrease greatly (or even stop completely) during sexual arousal, so that might counteract the effect of the cramps/contractions.

All in all, masturbation is fun and certainly isn't going to hurt anything, so I'd say it's worth giving it a try!

Another semen question: Increasing volume

Q: I am 49 and don't have a problem getting an erection. How can I ejaculate longer instead of just dribbling when I have an orgasm??

This is one of those things I must admit I simply do not get … unless you're worried about fertility, I'm not sure what the fuss is about ejaculate volume! Personally, I don't mind a bit when a partner only produces a small volume of semen. To the contrary, men who come all over the place are just making a bigger mess.

Ejaculate volume is one of those individual things, to a certain extent. Some guys come like porn stars, and some don't. (And actually, porn directors sometimes have guys "stand in" for money shots, if the star of the scene can't cum buckets!)

All that said, judging from the number of pills out there advertised to increase semen volume, obviously it's a big deal to a lot of people out there. And sadly, there's a pretty limited number of legitimate options for changing one's ejaculate volume. I looked around, tried to avoid all the pill scam sites, and came up with this list:

  1. Kegel exercises While these are most often recommended to women worried about vaginal muscle tone, and folks with bladder control issues, Kegel exercises can also be a great thing for men, sexually speaking. Not only can they help you control ejaculation and generally increase muscle tone and strength, but I saw several sources say they helped increase ejaculate volume. How? Not sure … I don't know if better muscle tone helps increase the body's production of seminal fluids, or if it just helps increase the force of ejaculation. Either way, it can't do anything but help.

    To do a Kegel exercise, just "clamp down" your muscles as though you're trying to stop peeing, or trying to hold it when you really have to go. (In fact, trying to stop your flow of urine is a good way to make sure you're doing it right.) Do them whenever you think of it. Alternate between short squeezes, and holding the tension for a while. Heck, try doing Kegel morse code if you want!

  2. Vitamin supplements Zinc and amino acid supplements are said to increase seminal fluid volume. Zinc is especially recommended. Pick up some zinc supplements, and check your local health food or fitness store to find an all-around amino supplement.
  3. Increased foreplay The longer you fool around before you orgasm, the more time your body spends building up for it. And your partner certainly won't mind the extra attention either!
  4. Abstinence If you're mostly worried about how much you come during intercourse, lay off the masturbation for a day or two beforehand. The less often you ejaculate, the more semen production has a chance to "save up" between orgasms. This may be the least fun option, but it certainly helps.

Now, for the bad news. It's natural for a man to produce less seminal fluid as he ages. You're just not going to ejaculate as much at the age of 49 as you did when you were 19. If you've got money to burn, you could talk to a doctor about testosterone or HGH supplementation. HGH injections (the only form of HGH treatment shown to produce significant benefits) cost a few hundred dollars per injection, and testosterone treatment isn't cheap either. In the end, the first four things I recommended are probably a more realistic and practical way to go.

Vasectomy and Ejaculation: Unexpected side-effects?

Q: I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago and ever since I find it very hard to ejaculate , no problem with erectile function,and I still enjoy sex but it takes forever before I ejaculate, I have tried everything I can think of, could it be medical?

Well, I've searched all over the place for information about delayed ejaculation and vasectomy side effects, and I'm afraid I really didn't come up with anything. Delayed ejaculation is a fairly common side effect of many anti-depressants, but you didn't mention if you were taking any medication of that type.

One side effect of vasectomy is retrograde ejaculation, where the ejaculate backs up into the bladder instead of coming all the way out the urethra, but I imagine it would be difficult to confuse the two. Another side effect of vasectomy I found mentioned was chronic testicular pain … which is (thankfully!) also not your problem. Other issues that may cause delayed ejaculation are prostate problems, or spinal nerve damage.

If you're able to ejaculate within a normal amount of time during masturbation, but not during intercourse, the problem is likely psychological, and you might get relief through hypnotherapy or other counseling methods. If, on the other hand, your delayed ejaculation problems are universal, no matter what method of sexual stimulation you're using, it's more likely to be a physical problem.

Assuming you're not on anti-depressants, and it is in fact a universal problem, you should probably have a doctor check things out. You may want to get a prostate exam, or testicular ultrasound to look for possible physical causes.

Hope that's been of some help.