Archive for February, 2009

Semen: Should it all be the same?

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Q: is it normal for cum to have inconsistent texture? mine always has more than one: a runny clear fluid, runny milky, and a thick gooey milky one. all at the same time. i know i'm clear of any std's or other illnesses. it has been like that as long as i can remember

If you're otherwise healthy, and it's always been that way, then it's normal for you. In my experience, the first "spurt" of semen is always a bit different than the last, with variations in between. The thing to watch out for is any change in what's "normal" for you … but if everything is the same as it's always been, I doubt you have anything to worry about.

One thing I feel compelled to add here is never to watch porn and assume it has anything to do with what should be "normal". It's not uncommon in the adult movie industry to have cum "stand ins" for guys who don't shoot movie-quality "monster loads", so don't give it a moment of thought if your ejaculate doesn't look like what you see on DVDs or the internet! (To say nothing of the fact that I haven't talked to any women who are worried about their male partner's semen, unless they're trying to get pregnant and can't.) If you enjoy your sex life, and you're STD free, it's all good!

[added] It occurred to me today that I should add something here: Your level of overall hydration also affects the consistency of your cum. The more dehydrated you are, the less fluid your semen will be.

Masturbation 101 for Men

Q: how do i do masturbating in the easiest way……..without using any tools or sex toys?………….am a boy……..

Well, if you don't want to use any tools or toys, I hope you don't consider lube (or hand lotion) a "tool" … Not being a boy myself, the consensus of the boys I do know is that your hand is the best option if you don't want to use anything else (unless you're flexible and/or well-endowed enough to give yourself a blow-job).

Some guys put on condoms, and use the gap between the mattress and box spring on their bed as a "partner", or between the couch cushions and couch frame, or lay on top of a pillow and use the gap between the pillow and the bed (the condom is pretty important to prevent chafing if you're using furniture), but compared to the good ol' hand job, I'd hardly call any of those options the "easiest way".

Sorry I don't have a more revolutionary answer for you, but if it ain't broke don't fix it, right?

Eco Delight kit: Truly Delightful

Eco Delight: Who couldn't love it?

Eco Delight rechargeable vibrator gift set
The Eco Delight kit (which I've been eagerly awaiting since I first started reviewing for Babeland) pairs one of Babeland's nicest premium vibrators with a collection of truly delightful accessories: a Babeland soy massage candle, three vegan Mambo condoms, and a full-size bottle of Babeland Naked organic lube, all wrapped in pink Babeland tissue paper inside a handmade paper bag studded with flower seeds (you can actually plant the bag and grow a flower garden!), with a classy gift tag already attached.

If you're looking for Valentine's Day gift ideas, and your girlfriend or wife loves to play with toys, have Babeland ship one of these kits to you ASAP! Not only will she enjoy the Delight vibe for a long time to come, but the rest of the kit is just perfect for a romantic night together at home.

The folks at Babeland clearly put some thought into the selection of products in this kit, because they all work well on their own, and work even better together…

Delight G-Spot Vibrator

Delight silicone gspot vibe
The Delight g-spot vibe just might be the be-all and end-all of vibrators for women who like a gentler vibe than something like the Hitachi Magic Wand, or for women who love their g-spot vibe, but need a little clitoral stimulation to put them over the edge.

Appearance & Construction: The Delight is a beautiful toy. With it's gracefully curved s-shape and two-tone silicone & hard plastic body, it's almost as much a work of art as it is a sex toy. It comes in three color combinations: Black silicone and white plastic, two-tone pink, and blue silicone with purple plastic, each with a discreet charger/storage case in matching colors.

Features & Usage: The Delight is rechargeable, so if you keep it stored in its charger/storage case, and keep the power cord plugged in, it's always ready to go. And go it does! The simple + and – control buttons glow red when it's turned on, making it really easy to see what you're doing in the dark. Just hold the + button down for one second to turn it on, then continue to press the + button to cycle through all the settings.

I have read descriptions claiming there are 32 different settings on the Delight, but actually there are 11: eight increasingly intense steady vibration options, followed by three pulsating vibration patterns that switch on after "Level 8", when you hold the + button for another second. Each pulse setting is a bit faster than the last, and my lord, I don't think I've used anything but the pulse settings since the first test drive!

Technique: The curve of the Delight is perfectly engineered. When the flexible silicone end is inserted, it finds the g-spot almost instantly, and the plastic body curves back over your clitoris so the lighted control buttons face toward you over top of your pubic bone. It may or may not be able to hit your g-spot and clit at the same time, depending on how the shape fits your body, but when you rock it back and forth, which the shape almost begs for, it will definitely hit them both (and when you get it rocking in time with one of the pulse settings… woooo!).

The end of the handle forms a loop behind the controls, perfectly shaped so you can hook a finger through it and have the controls right at your thumbtip. Then just rock it back and forth and play with the speed and pulse settings until you find the magic combo that tickles you just right.

Babeland Naked Organic Lube

Babeland organic lubricant
The label carries the following boasts: 100% Natural; Infused with herbs; Therapeutic-grade essential oils; Cruelty-free, 99% vegan; No petro-chemicals; No parabens. It comes in a pretty blue glass bottle, with a tastefully designed label. It smells nice. That all sounds very good, but does Naked Lube actually perform when it's put to the test?

The answer is a resounding YES! I first tried Naked lube with the Delight vibrator (and with the soft texture of the silicone end, you definitely want to use lube with the Delight). It worked phenomenally well. A half hour later, the lube hadn't disappeared or gotten uncomfortably sticky (both problems with a lot of water/glycerin-based lubricants). Definitely a match made in heaven.

A few nights later, I grabbed the bottle to use with a friend. When he first saw the gel consistency of the lube in my hand, he asked, "Does it work?" I had wondered the same thing at first. It comes out of the pump as a drip-free gel, but there isn't a hint of tackiness when you rub it on yourself, your partner, or your toy. After a couple seconds of thorough "hands-on application" from me, he was convinced too. ;-)

I will say that Naked started to get a little tacky after a solid hour of energetic "testing" … but rather than applying more lube, all that's needed is a little extra moisture. A bit of saliva, and the lube was as effective as ever. Babeland's Naked Organic Lubricant gets an enthusiastic thumbs up from this woman!

Babeland Soy Massage Candle

Soy wax massage candle
The "rice flower" scented soy candle comes with a little box of matches tucked in the box, so you don't need to run out and buy a lighter to enjoy it. I often don't like the smell of scented candles; they're usually too strong, too artificial, or too "fruity" smelling for my taste, but I really enjoyed the scent. How does it work as massage 'oil' though?

Much to my surprise, I thought it worked great. With the candle burning, and the wax dripped onto my skin from about a foot above me, the heat of the melted wax was pleasantly intense, but nowhere near actually burning. It provided just the right amount of lubrication for a massage, didn't soak in as quickly as lotion would, and didn't dribble all over the place like oil. I never would have thought of using soy wax as a massage 'oil', but I was really impressed.

Mamba Vegan Condoms

mamba condoms 15 times stronger than regular brands
If you frequently have issues with major brand condoms breaking, Mamba condoms may be just what you've been looking for. These natural rubber "rubbers" are quite possibly the most durable condoms I've ever seen. Truly, they don't break (well, I'm sure they might once in a while, but I couldn't figure out how!).

You'll love them even more if you have a serious rubber fetish… because that's what they smell like. This was a bit of a bummer for me, as I'm not really turned on by the smell of new tires. However, a dollop of the nicely-scented Naked lube did help mask the rubbery smell, so once again Babeland has shown perfect taste in choosing the combo of products in this gift pack.


The Delight vibrator is definitely aptly named. Although I have yet to reach the big O without using the tip of the silicone end as a clit vibe at the end, the "foreplay" before that is better than any toy I've ever tried. I've honestly never used a vibe before this where I found myself perfectly happy not rushing to orgasm ASAP. I spent a good half hour happily trying different angles for the vibe, and my hips, and my legs (it stays in place hands-free quite nicely when you squeeze your thighs together).

If you're a fan of less intense vibrators already, but haven't found a g-spotter that quite works for you, or you need a little extra clit stimulation while using one, or you can appreciate a vibe that does an unbelievable job of bringing you right to the edge of orgasm, and holding you there for what seems like forever, you'll find the Delight quite delightful indeed.

The rest of the Eco Delight kit makes a lovely collection together, but I would say the lube is the only other "must have" item in the bunch (unless you're in the market for bulletproof condoms, that is). However, considering Babeland offers the kit for the same price as the vibe alone, if you're going to get a Delight go ahead and treat yourself to the gift pack. You definitely won't regret the investment!

One-way Open Relationships

Q: My partner and I have what you would call an open relationship, he sees and sleeps with others, while I am faithful to him. I wonder why I am ok with that scenario with him where as with others I was not.

Two thoughts immediately come to mind for me:

  1. You're not that attached. If you're not that serious about the relationship, you might naturally not feel worried about what or who else he's doing. Not everyone is 'wired' to want to see more than one person though, so even if you weren't that serious, you might still feel more comfortable being monogamous yourself.
  2. The relationship is really solid. Kind of the exact opposite of theory #1, if you feel really secure in the emotional stability of the relationship, you may not worry about who else he sees, because you're completely confident that he's coming home to you when he's done.

    No matter what the reason though, as long as the two of you can communicate openly about your feelings regarding the open arrangement, and you're both happy with the situation as it is, there's no reason to worry!