Archive for January, 2008

Vasectomy and Ejaculation: Unexpected side-effects?

Q: I had a vasectomy a couple of years ago and ever since I find it very hard to ejaculate , no problem with erectile function,and I still enjoy sex but it takes forever before I ejaculate, I have tried everything I can think of, could it be medical?

Well, I've searched all over the place for information about delayed ejaculation and vasectomy side effects, and I'm afraid I really didn't come up with anything. Delayed ejaculation is a fairly common side effect of many anti-depressants, but you didn't mention if you were taking any medication of that type.

One side effect of vasectomy is retrograde ejaculation, where the ejaculate backs up into the bladder instead of coming all the way out the urethra, but I imagine it would be difficult to confuse the two. Another side effect of vasectomy I found mentioned was chronic testicular pain … which is (thankfully!) also not your problem. Other issues that may cause delayed ejaculation are prostate problems, or spinal nerve damage.

If you're able to ejaculate within a normal amount of time during masturbation, but not during intercourse, the problem is likely psychological, and you might get relief through hypnotherapy or other counseling methods. If, on the other hand, your delayed ejaculation problems are universal, no matter what method of sexual stimulation you're using, it's more likely to be a physical problem.

Assuming you're not on anti-depressants, and it is in fact a universal problem, you should probably have a doctor check things out. You may want to get a prostate exam, or testicular ultrasound to look for possible physical causes.

Hope that's been of some help.

Giving blowjobs & sucking balls … yes or no?

Q: Should i suck on his testicle a little bit too?

ball sucking
This is one of those "if he likes it" things … most men's testicles are very sensitive. Some men may dislike having their testicles sucked, because the sensation is so intense it's painful for them, but really like having their balls licked and fondled. Others may enjoy ball sucking, but only if you do it gently. And then there are those guys that absolutely love having their balls sucked, no matter how hard you do it.

The only way to find out if a particular guy likes having his testicles sucked, or mouthed, or played with at all (some guys' scrotums are so ticklish, you just have to leave them alone), is to either ask or try it. Of course, asking may not help if he's never had someone do that for him before … so why not just experiment?

If you do decide to just give it a try some time, be really soft and slow at first, and pay close attention to his reaction (especially if you up the intensity). If your man likes it, but only gently, you don't want to spook him by doing your Hoover impersonation right off the bat! Start off just licking his scrotum, then take one testicle into your mouth, and instead of sucking on it, just caress it with your tongue. You could try gently sucking both of his balls into your mouth at once (if you can), and rolling them around a little.

If he enjoys all that, then try actually sucking on them, and take it from there.

Can't Produce Sperm … why?

Q: I cant prodice sperm whats wrong with me?

First off, you don't mention how old you are. There may not be anything wrong with you at all. Boys start producing sperm at around age 12, but don't reach full fertility until their mid-teens. And of course, some individuals start puberty later than others. So, if you're not starting puberty yet, there's nothing to worry about. You should start producing sperm during your first year of puberty, and reach full fertility 2-3 years later. If you reach your mid-teens and still aren't producing sperm, then it might be a sign of some developmental problem, and you'll want to check with a doctor.

Now, if you're an adult, the next question is whether or not you ever did start producing sperm. If you have in the past, and suddenly can't now, it may be due to some injury or illness … and you should definitely see a doctor about it. If you're an adult and never have produced sperm, it could be due to a genetic problem or early childhood injury. If you're worried about it, go to a doctor and try to find out what's wrong. But if it's been a lifelong problem, it may very well be permanent.

Butt Plugs: Good lord, why?

Q: I looked on an adult toy web site and I don't understand the purpose of a butt plug. Why would someone want to plug their butt?

silicone butt plugs
Well, first off, for the most part people who use butt plugs aren't actually trying to plug their butts. (Unless, of course, there's some kind of kinky Dom-sub bowel control game going on … but let's forget about that idea for now, and get down to basics.)

There are a hell of a lot of nerve endings in and around the human anus, which can feel really good when rubbed on. For men, there's the added bonus of the prostate gland located along the forward wall of the rectum, right where it can be stimulated by anal penetration. For those who can let go of society's taboos surrounding their posterior orifice, putting things in one's butt can be very pleasurable. And that brings us to butt plugs.

Dildos are fine and dandy for anal stimulation, unless you want to take your hands off the toy and do something else for a while, such as receiving or giving oral sex, having vaginal sex, or what have you. Dildos tend to slip out, sometimes quite suddenly, when the anal sphincter contracts (as it does when you have an orgasm)*. Even worse, dildos without flared bases can slip all the way in to the rectum, sometimes requiring medical assistance for removal. (If you don't want to use a butt plug, always buy dildos with flared bases, often advertised as "harness compatible", for anal play. Or use other specialty anal toys designed for easy removal.)

Butt plugs are shaped with a flared base, narrow neck, and large "head", so they can't slip all the way into the rectum, and can also be held in place by the sphincter muscle to prevent sudden ejection. They allow users to enjoy "hands free" anal stimulation while they're enjoying other sexual (or non-sexual) activities.

*Bad Idea: Using a dildo anally while having missionary position vaginal sex. Butt plugs, on the other hand, will not eject suddenly, and strike your male partner with great force in the scrotum when you have an orgasm.

Nipple Piercing and Breastfeeding: Possible? Yes.

Q: Can I breastfeed with pierced nipples?

nipple and mammary gland diagram
Well, maybe and maybe not. Multiple milk ducts pass through each of your nipples, and some of them are bound to be damaged when you poke a hole through there … how many and how badly depends on a number of factors: how many milk ducts you have to begin with; how large your nipples are (the larger, the more room you have to work with); what gauge your initial piercing was (the larger, the more potential damage); and finally, how much scar tissue formed while your piercing was healing. It's hard to give a definite answer on this one.

However, nipple piercings are generally done through the areola just behind the actual nipple (or at least they should be), which helps matters greatly. The milk ducts spread out quickly behind the nipple (see diagram at left, caption below), running to mammary glands through out the breast, so there's quite a bit of leeway for a piercing to run through without damaging many of them. In most cases, having a piercing will not stop you from breastfeeding, and some women even report better milk flow after having their nipples pierced.

However, it's generally recommended that nursing mothers remove their piercings while nursing, to reduce the possibility of the jewelry damaging the baby's palate or gums (or possibly coming loose in the baby's mouth). Removing your jewelry the whole time you breastfeed will most likely mean your nipples will need to be re-pierced after weaning, but removing it before every feeding, and reinserting it afterward can cause extra irritation (during a time your nipples will likely be plenty irritated to begin with) … so even if the piercings cause no physical impediment to nursing, they sure can cause a hassle.

The bottom line is that you really won't know how much, if any, trouble your nipple piercings will cause, until you actually begin breastfeeding. But many pierced women have managed to breastfeed before you, so it's almost always do-able.

[Diagram: 1.Nipple 2.Areola 3.Milk Ducts 4.Milk Glands 5.Fatty Tissue]