Archive for December, 2007

Girl on Top: 5 Tips for avoiding fatigue

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Q: I just can't seem to get the girl-on-top position right…how would you go about doing it and not getting tired out?

girl on top female superior sex
I must admit, "female superior" has never been one of my favorite positions … but every so often, it has been really great. And there are some definite differences between "meh" and "mindblowing," technique-wise. Assuming you're starting from a kneeling position, here are a few tips for making things a little easier for yourself:

Have him sit up. If he's sitting up against the wall, or a pile of pillows, you can lean on him. Wrap your arms around his shoulders, so you can use your upper body strength to keep your balance and lift yourself up.

Rock back and forth. You don't have to bounce up and down the whole time … try sliding your hips back and forth, or side to side, or whichever direction you like, while letting most of your weight rest on his hips. It'll give your knees and thigh muscles a break.

Rest on your hands. Bend forward and put the palms of your hands on his chest, or on either side of his body, and hold yourself up that way for a while. (Or lean back and rest your hands on his legs …) This works really well in conjunction with the "sliding your hips back and forth" maneuver.

Hold hands. Grab hold of his hands, palm to palm, and hold them up in front of you … then lean on them a little, or pull against them to make lifting yourself up a little easier. So long as he doesn't go spaghetti-arms on you, this can be surprisingly helpful.

Get him to do some of the work! Really now, when he's on top, you don't just lay there like a blow-up doll, do you? I'm rather surprised how many men do just lay there like lumps while the woman's on top. Try putting his hands on your hips, and see if he's not suddenly inspired to help out a little more. Once he gets his hips moving a little, you can sync yourself to his movements, and use him like a springboard. ;-) (Works even better if he gets a little lifting action going with his hands.)

Average semen volume and normal sperm count

Q: About how much volume of fluid does the average guy put out during orgasm?

The general consensus when I looked this one up was 2-6 milliliters of semen per ejaculation. You'll tend to ejaculate a larger volume if you haven't had an orgasm in a while, and tend to produce a smaller amount if you've just had an orgasm recently.

According to the World Health Organization, a 'normal' sperm count has (at minimum):

  • a concentration of spermatozoa of 20 million per ml.
  • 2ml. total volume of semen
  • 40 million spermatozoa in the ejaculate
  • 75% live sperm
  • 30% normal spermatozoa (in shape and form)
  • 25% of the sperm swimming forward quickly
  • 50% of the spermatozoa swimming forward, at any speed

Blow jobs, fellatio, giving head, sucking dick, etc… 10 how-to tips

Q: How do I give a blow job?

dick sucking lips
I've actually had this question raised twice since my cunnilingus do's and don'ts post went up, so I've bumped it to the top of the queue …

So, you want to give good blow jobs? I'm going to start sounding like a broken record if I keep saying "pay attention to you partner's reactions" in all of my how-to posts, but that really ought to be at the top of any sex how-to list. And I assume pretty much everyone understands that fellatio involves putting your partner's penis in your mouth … That said, here are a few more specific tips, in no particular order:

No teeth. That point may change if you're with the same guy for a long time, and he trusts you and enjoys more intense stimulation, but for the most part you're just going to scare people if your teeth touch their penis. Practice making an "O" shape with your mouth while keeping your lips pulled in over your teeth.

Don't choke yourself. Sure, people make a lot of noise about deep throating, and it's a great little trick of you can manage to do it comfortably, but don't push yourself until you gag. If you can't comfortably get the man's penis all the way in your mouth, use your hand to squeeze the shaft of the penis while your mouth works on the head … much like I recommended men concentrate on the clitoris when going down, the glans of the penis is the most sensitive part for the man.

Keep things wet. Most lubricants taste like crap, so you don't really want to pump your hand full of lube when you start, but you definitely don't want to chafe any sensitive parts while you're down there. Saliva is your friend here. If you can take his penis all the way to the back of your mouth a few times, your saliva will naturally get a bit thicker, and therefore much more useful as a lubricant. But if you can't manage that without gagging, just work up some excess saliva one way or another, and spread it around with your tongue. And no, he won't mind if you drool on him a little here … ;-)

Spit or swallow, but make up your mind. While most men would certainly prefer you swallow, he's not going to be crushed if you spit. If you're going to spit, have a tissue handy before you start. If you're going to swallow, have a drink ready if the taste bothers you. Whichever you choose, just don't make a lot of faces or icky noises … nobody wants their partner acting like oral sex is some kind of disgusting "duty" they're barely tolerating. (Personally, I'd say swallowing is easier … no mess, no bother. Even if you think it tastes nasty, do you really want to have to swish it around in your mouth long enough to spit it all back out?)

You don't have to finish. If you're terribly worried about the spit or swallow thing, or if your jaw feels like it's about to crack, or you're getting a neck ache, or just really not enjoying yourself, stop. But stop nicely. Most guys are pretty understanding if you say your neck is getting sore … and I've found that climbing back up the guy's body and getting down to a little girl-on-top business usually works just fine. ;-)

Use your hands. Besides just squeezing the base of his penis, you can use your hand to fondle his testicles (be gentle though! they're quite sensitive!). Another good one: wrap your hand around his shaft, and keep your hand against your mouth as you slide your mouth all the way off his penis, squeezing your hand a little at the very top, then slide your mouth back down (lips against your hand) as far as you can (… and do make sure everything is nice and slick when you do it). Many guys seem to need a certain level of 'fast and hard' towards the end to orgasm, and that technique is a relatively easy way to go fast without worrying about gagging yourself or dislocating your jaw.

Pace yourself. You don't have to go all-out from the start. He's not going to mind if you familiarize yourself with the territory before getting serious about the grand finale. Play around a little. Listen to the noises he's making, and if he suggests something he'd like you to do, give it a try! When he's acting really excited, or actually says he's getting close to orgasm, then you can start on the 'fast and hard' (or whatever it is that really seems to get him going).

You have a tongue, so use it. You don't have to do a Deep Throat impersonation the whole time, or pretend you're a Hoover vacuum. See if you can swirl your tongue in a circle around the head of his penis. Flicker your tongue against the skin just below the underside of the head. Lick up and down the entire shaft a few times. Find out what he really likes, and do it a while longer. Playing with your tongue is a great way to take a break from the head-bobbing action if your neck is getting a little tired.

Let him watch. You might be worried about how you'll look while you're performing fellatio, but the man on the receiving end is not going to be critiquing your hairdo, believe me. Leave a light on (even just a candle, if you're feeling shy), and kneel between his legs so he can look down at you while you're doing it. Look up at him once in a while too, and make a little noise to show you like what you're doing.

Have fun with it. No matter what your level of skill, the guy will enjoy it more if you're enjoying yourself too. Go ahead and use some whipped cream or chocolate syrup if it sounds like fun, go down on him in the shower, or try the 69 position some time. Giving head isn't all about being a hard core blow job queen … any kind of sex is best when everyone's having fun!

Rubber balls? Yes, a scrotum is a very stretchy thing

Q: I've been told my by girlfriend that my scrotum is far and away the stretchiest she's ever seen. It seems normal to me. I can stretch it out from roughly the size of a golfball to what would be enough to fit baseball inside of it. Is it really that unusual for that body part to be that elastic?

It's not that unusual at all. Really, you sound pretty normal. I've seen one man with a scrotum even stretchier than that, and a few that were not nearly as much so, but in any case I've seen it really is pretty amazing how far that skin can stretch.

Since the testicles can not produce sperm properly at human body temperature, the scrotum evolved to keep the testes away from the main body cavity where they can stay cooler. That is why your scrotum seems to get even stretchier in warm weather, and contracts when temperatures get cold … and as every guy knows, the "stretch factor" can vary widely for each individual man, depending not only on the ambient temperature, but also his current level of sexual arousal.

But all that aside, when everything is relaxed, the scrotum is probably the most remarkably elastic areas of skin on the human body.

Whither the wet spot? or, Sperm are hardy little bastards

Q: How long does a guys bodily fluids usually hang around inside the vagina?

Well, as far as the actual fluid is concerned, unless the woman was doing a headstand when the guy pulled out, most of the semen ends up on the bedsheets almost immediately (or the living room carpet, or the kitchen table, or wherever you happen to be at the time …). However, the little sperm are surprisingly hardy buggers.

I'd always heard sperm can live up to 72 hours in the woman's body, but I went looking to confirm that for this question, and now I'm seeing a lot of sources that say they can live 5-7 days! That's bad news for folks trying to avoid pregnancy via the rhythm method … you're off limits for up to a full week before ovulation, and then the egg can live a further 24+ hours after that.

For strictly hygienic purposes (since this question was originally titled "sexual hygiene"), I couldn't find any specific information on how long the seminal fluid can possibly stay in the vagina after intercourse, but most of it does seep out shortly afterward (especially if the woman gets up and walks around, to use the toilet, for instance). For the day following intercourse, some women wear a thin pantyliner to absorb any additional fluid. Douching afterward is also an option, if you're worried about cleanliness (although douching is NOT recommended as a birth control measure, because the pressure of the douche water can actually help push the semen further into the vagina!).

And of course, using a condom pretty well negates the whole question … so if it's a major concern of yours, do consider that option.